Pro-Tip when visiting Seattle

 

-Don’t drive between 3pm-6pm
-Don’t EVER refer to Capitol Hill as “Cap Hill”. What the fuck is wrong with you? You stupid ass.
-Come during the Viking Days festival
-Visit Goergetown
-Enjoy coffee at other places besides Starbucks
-Prepare for culture, art, music, and a WIDE array of multifaceted people in varying colors of scarves and skinny jeans.
-Visit the Gum Wall. I don’t give a fuck if you think it’s gross, it’s ours and we like it.
-I can show you things off the beaten path that will really make you love Seattle and Washington State in general. Come hang with me.
-There’s a 1000 shows every night from every type of music you can think of. Go support music.
-STOP and enjoy the street musicians. Homeless or not…. these motherfuckers are talented and more talented than people who have legit contracts with record labels.
-Appreciate the fact that you’re on some serious Native American land and if you spend some time to really look around, you’ll see bits and pieces of the culture ingrained everywhere.
-Try some of the amazing local microbrews we have here.
-Eat all the food. You’re in the Mecca of eccentric and culturally diverse eats.
-Yes our streets in some areas are paved with rainbows. Because we’re all gay here and we like it. So take a walk on Broadway and appreciate the amazing bars, gastropubs, and little clubs where you can find some of the most interesting shows unique to only Seattle. Not to mention really amazing people.
-The “Seattle Freeze” is a thing. People are in their own worlds usually and not very open or seemingly welcome. But usually once the barrier has been lifted, they’re generally nice and interesting.
-It doesn’t rain all the time. Contrary to what you may think.
-Visit our beaches and check out the Wooden Boat Festival at Lake Union. I happen to like ships and boats.
-Our view is better than yours. From pretty much every angle.
-Check out the rooftop cafes.
-The Space Needle is over-rated. Don’t waste the money. But by all means, go visit it at least once.
-If you don’t know about PHO, let me show you the way.
-Don’t stare.
-If you love Passive/Passive Aggressive people…. FUCK YOU. There’s tons here.
-Take a tour of the Seattle Underground. Learn all about the great sewage spill of the early 1900’s. Toilets are life.

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