I felt I’ve been a gypsy in life, moving here and there, never staying too long in one place, and having to make difficult choices to ensure my safety and well-being. It’s difficult to relate to most people and how they see things, but at the same time I can totally empathize and sympathize with them, understanding their sides in its necessity. But I feel aloof, like I’m looking in a giant window at everyone passing by me. Even in moments where I may matter or I’m the center of attention. I have fleeting glimpses of belonging only to be led to disappointment or a strangeness of removal. Whether it’s a friendship, relationship, political, a debate of some sort….anything worldly going on unless it’s truly profound for humanity, I feel out of place. Perhaps it’s is me. I guess I’m ok with that. I just thought I’d share in case anyone felt as out of place as I do. I’m not depressed, rather the opposite; quite the paradox really.
I think people are silly sometimes in their ideals and beliefs. Especially when I can see it serves them no good, nor will it. Yet they cannot see it for themselves. They’re wrapped up in that moment and I get it because it’s what they have going on. I, too, have those moments. But I can still adjust and see a larger picture that may be happening. Sometimes it’s frightening to be a solo voice on the wind. Fighting to be heard, not fighting, but to be understood. Maybe someone to realize that they’re just as trivial as they are viewed. It’s almost like having the veil taken from your eyes and you see things a little differently than most. You don’t really follow any herd, nor religion, nor politics… because it all seems like an unprovincial necessity to keep everyone safe in their minds even if they believe a lie or something that is not completely true. It’s a beautiful and ugly thing at the same time. But even as I say I’m not from here or I don’t feel I’m from here… Earth, this place, whatever it is… I most certainly am.